Biki Oberoi’s passing on feels intensely personal!
We all have a Biki Oberoi story! Or many stories! And they all are true!
Because of these enchanting stories and special moments, the passing on of the iconic, the unparalleled Biki Oberoi seems like a grave personal loss; like that of losing an adulated upon family elder or the much revered tribe headsman. Yes, the tribe of luxury hoteliers all over the globe.
Biki Oberoi, the doyen of the international hotel business and the chief orchestrator behind putting India on the global map of the hospitality industry, has held a strong hold over all of us, whose lives he has touched. There has been a feeling of deep connect, stemming from profound respect and admiration for a legendary man, a Super Boss, a professional patriarch who we all have held in awe by virtue of his aura, his charisma, his larger than life persona and unique leadership template.
While befitting paeans are being sung by people around the world and magnificent eulogies being penned on this exceptional person and business leader, I will remember PRS Oberoi for the following personal reasons.
Meeting Mr. Oberoi for the first time
It was in the Summer of 1998 that I was being headhunted for the Oberoi Group from the luxury chain I worked with, at that time.
But it would be almost Fall, when I was going to be given directions to the Oberoi Farms for a Saturday afternoon meeting with Mr. Oberoi.
As part of the briefing, I was told to wear a Chiffon saree, maybe a string of pearls and drop the Bindi (the cosmetic dot commonly worn by Indian women as a make-up feature). I didn’t like the sound of it and decided to adhere to only one or two of the standards set. If I recall right, I wore a silk saree in pastel colours to the meeting. But yes, I decided to not put a Bindi on my forehead. Mr. Oberoi liked his team to appear in a certain fashion, therefore the piece of advice.
I had found the polite suggestion to be superficial and had wanted to be considered for the intellect and skill base I was bringing to the table.
But now on hindsight, and after a sizeable experience under my belt, I fully acknowledge how the suggestion had not been off the mark at all. Hotels are an industry of the people, by the people, for the people. Undoubtedly, Appearance is a significant part of the trifecta, together with Attitude and Aptitude, on which the personality of an ideal professional rests.
I had a vigorous, energized, dynamic discussion with Mr. Oberoi at the interview, along with a pleasant disagreement where I held my ground. The issue was about engagement with the media. The Oberoi Group has been known to be very discreet. They have not been very bullish with their media strategy preferring the brand value to speak for itself.
I don’t agree with you Mr. Oberoi,
I heard myself saying to the Vice Chairman of the Hotel Company I was being interviewed to be appointed at. We must have a two-pronged strategy – for rooms and for F&B separately,
I was continuing to make my point.
Mr. BM, the VP – HR was sitting on the sidelines in stoic silence. I felt he had held his breath during the course of the cordial dialogue that rode on our difference in opinion. He let out an audible sigh of relief when Mr. Oberoi capped the discussion with, I understand. I know what you mean, Ms. Dhir.
The prolonged interview rounded off with a friendly discussion on health and fitness. Weight management has always been a bone of contention with me. Well! no different from how it is for most people around the world but you think you are in it alone. I don’t remember how we got talking about it, but I must have complimented Mr. Oberoi on how fit he was. He was almost 70.
I always partake of Dal and Roti and strictly avoid eating Dal with Rice,
Mr. Oberoi shared his common sense advice with me.
Mr. Oberoi has often been famously quoted as saying, “Hospitality is common sense, but most don't have it.”
I came away from the interview with a warm, cozy feeling. I had no idea of the outcome but I had loved meeting Mr. Oberoi, who I had found to be genial, almost avuncular and quite opposite to the talk of him being strict, no-nonsense and taciturn.
The news came shortly after, that I had been selected. I joined The Oberoi Group in November 1998.
Breaking of myths
My selection, as the Head of PR & Communications at The Oberoi Delhi, brought respite to the Corporate HR and Recruitment Team. The Head Recruitments later told me that they had been looking for the right candidate for the past six months. And that, in the present short listing too; just two of us had made it to the round with Mr. RB, the President of Oberoi Hotels at that time. Finally, only one of us was sent off to meet Mr. Oberoi. So, if I had not made it, then they would have had to start the entire process from scratch and look for a new bunch of talent.
There was conversation around how I had not completely adhered to the attire suggestion, yet that had not really mattered; how I had entered into an argument with Mr. Oberoi – something that was unheard of – yet the exchange had ended in agreement; and how Mr. Oberoi had been quite gracious and gregarious.
Exchanges such as this have helped break the falsified notions held around Mr. Oberoi. We tend to build walls and barriers around those at the top most level, instilling an element of psychosis in our interaction with them.
That he was supremely intelligent, with a sharp eye for detail through which absolutely nothing would escape, a razor sharp mind that observed and soaked in everything, remarkable insightfulness that has seen him contribute so significantly with his unique flair are commonly known truths about him. But personally I have always found Mr. Oberoi to be warm, understanding, and reasonable in my interactions with him.
Biki Oberoi’s heightened sense of fairplay
In February 1999, two of my poetry anthologies were going to be launched by Archies, India’s leading Social Expressions Company. Since I worked at the Oberoi, at the time, it was suggested that it would be easy and convenient to speak to the hotel for organizing a venue.
I put Archies’ Marketing Manager in touch with the Banqueting Team and the Director of F&B. Both parties worked on their parts to organize a good launch.
However, one thing stood out. Archies mentioned to me that not only did they foot the Bill, but also that no discounts were offered to them.
Archies was alright with it, but the whole episode impressed upon me the sense of even-handedness. I was the Head of PR & Communications during this time; but there was no need really to give a special treatment to one employee and set a wrong example for others.
That’s how Mr. Oberoi was. He wouldn’t blink an eye before rallying after you, if he thought you were in the right. On the other hand, he wouldn’t think twice before being critical if you erred or goofed up.
One time I was handling a big ticket Fashion Show at The Oberoi, New Delhi. One of the top most Fashion Designers, India has ever known, was going to present his Autumn Collection. The Who’s Who of Delhi, the Crème de la Crème of India, the big guns of the fashion world globally had been keenly looking forward to the event, and were going to attend it.
While to the guests and the outside world the Show had been put up meticulously, we at the Hotel had been on tenterhooks.
I remember PJ – my GM Boss at that time, telling me that we had been on the edge of a disaster in the making. It was sharp thinking on the toes, quick footwork between the various departments, crisis management of the utmost level and perhaps a little blessing from Above, that a major crisis was thwarted. It all ended well, to our relief; but it just could have gone the other way.
I had two major bones to pick with the hot headed Designer. One was with the co-Branding issues. He kept wishing to sideline our brand name in all collateral. It was a tussle trying to work in tandem with him, and it all came to a head on the issue of the major backdrop at the venue.
This, still, was a small matter to the other problem he created for us. While, we had printed a pre-agreed upon number of invites, he keep inviting his huge network of contacts in a devil may care manner. Hey, I am having my Show at The Oberoi. You must come.
If this was not damaging enough, he played underhand and sent out photocopies of the invite to his guests.
I found out when a common guest shared the photocopy with me. This meant that he had shot off more invites than the mega Royal Ballroom could handle in terms of capacity.
When I confronted him on these issues, he took personal umbrage and moved off in a huff. His ego was so badly bruised that he said to a common friend, I will have HER thrown out of the Oberoi.
And he tried. But I had explained the whole episode in minute detail to the General Manager and made a comprehensive report that the GM presented before Mr. Oberoi when he was beckoned to the Farms to discuss this hoary issue amongst a few others.
The Designer had made good his threat. He had carried his tale to Biki Oberoi, who must have heard him out patiently.
Mr. Oberoi heard the GM out too with as much reasoning and concern.
I did not get to hear about it at all, after the GM told me that everything had been explained to Mr. O, who had crunched information from both sides and he was fine with how we had handled it.
I continued to work with the wonderful Group, and worked under two more General Managers after this incident.
At a General Manager’s Christmas Party, the same Designer was shocked to see me working happily and thriving at the Hotel Chain. He met with me as amicably as he could, but his eyes remained shifty.
As for Mr. Oberoi, I met him on several occasions but this matter he did not consider worthy of his attention any more.
Mr. Oberoi has, undoubtedly, inculcated a work culture based on performance, positive work environment, and equitableness; far removed from internal politics and ego clashes.
A department head was keen that the PR & Communications department begin to report to him. Or at the least get part of the work approved by him. I had been reporting to the General Manager’s Office and wished to maintain the status quo. My reasoning was that I knew my job well, that my line of work had a wider significance on the running of the hotel so much that it would have been detrimental to make it a sub-department. Also, it was smoother working in unison with the General Manager and seek the approvals and clearances from him directly.
This did not go down well with the Colleague. He stepped into my Office one day and amidst friendly chatter slipped in that Mr. Oberoi knew him well and that he spoke almost every day with Mr. O.
I partially expected to get a call or a stern note because I was standing my ground. But the issue was not even broached, either by the General Manager or the Owner’s office.
All through my Oberoi tenure, I often encountered Mr. Oberoi’s sense of fairness, reasonableness and smooth and swift handling of contentious issues.
The Generous Leader
The industry is talking about how empathetic Mr. Oberoi was. I have personally been a beneficiary of his largesse and deep generosity.
I will never be able to forget how he and his Company stood by me at the time of my dire need. I was only a few months old in the Company when my Mother was found to have a massive blockage in her main Artery. It was discovered as a shocking surprise during a regular health check-up. We were told to rush into a procedure immediately by the Heart specialist at a major City Hospital. Yes, we were caught off guard and were not prepared.
I didn’t have sufficient funds in my Account, my Mother was not in a position to be asked to sign a cheque, both because she was in the throes of a severe medical condition and was away from home. This was a time when online banking was completely unheard of. The Doctor suggested I ask for a loan from my Office.
You work for a great Company, it should not be a problem,
he said.
He was right. It was no problem. In a short time, the amount was approved and sanctioned by Mr. Oberoi’s office and credited to my account. Like I said, I had just been with the company for about three months.
I lost my Mother to a weak heart in the Fall of 1999. I returned to Office after a fortnight of observing the customary rituals. Soon after, I developed a strange psycho-somatic condition. The doctors said it was idiopathic and my unique reaction to battling severe grief.
For a period of 2-3 months, I was unable to attend office normally. There would be days I would make an appearance, and then wish to get back home in the afternoon. Then there were days when getting off the bed was a gargantuan task; resultantly I would want to work from home.
To my relief and surprise, PJ – the French General Manager, with consent from Mr. Oberoi, allowed me to maintain the irregular attendance and to work from home in the time when the concept was unheard of. And this carried on till the time I began to rein in the grief in a better manner.
No word of gratitude would be enough to thank Mr. Oberoi and his kind ways for such munificence.
Biki Oberoi had a great sense of humour
I recall exchanging laughter even at my first meeting with him, which was actually supposed to be a staid interview.
My focus on my weight continued to be a butt of the standing joke between us.
One time, PJ the French GM mentioned to me in passing that Mr. Oberoi asked me to not just think too much about it but actually lose some weight.
I was pleasantly taken aback. As the Mandarin of a big company with thousands of employees and a million issues always vying for his time, he remembered our little episode and thought of sending me a personal message enveloped in concern and joviality.
A few months down the line, PJ and I were in the Lobby when he said to me, Mr. Oberoi was asking about you, saying has she lost a little weight. I said to him, well! so much that you wouldn’t recognize her anymore.
The two men had exchanged knowing looks and guffawed at the thought.
From making a funny comment to coming back with a clever repartee, Mr. Oberoi’s sense of humour was priceless, even though it is his impeccable, incomparable attention to detail that is highly regarded as an Industry barometer.
Mr. Oberoi also had an elephantine memory.
He seldom forgot anything, managing to remember the tiniest of information about the large Oberoi Team or the minutest detail about an operational matter.
In the latter part of 2006, I was in between jobs. I had left my previous role and let a wonderful opportunity with one of the biggest hotel chains in India slip by because it needed me to relocate.
Then suddenly, the position I had held at The Oberoi fell vacant and I decided to send my papers to the Corporate Office.
A few days later, I received a call telling me that Mr. Oberoi wished to speak with me.
To get a call from Mr. Oberoi was so special. The feeling of elation has been matchless. How many Chief Executives would take it upon themselves to call an ex-employee, I wonder.
When his rich baritone came on the line, Mr. Oberoi sounded warm and kindly-disposed. He asked about what I had been up to and after a bit of light conversation around my earlier tenure with his Company said, There is no reason you cannot return to us Ms. Dhir. We would love to have you back.
I regret not getting to join his great organization again, but as many XOs (Ex-Oberoi employee) will tell you, you can take a person out of the Oberoi, but you cannot take the Oberoi out of a person.
Such has been Mr. Oberoi’s legacy!
I met Mr. Oberoi for the last time in 2017. I had written to him in August 2017, seeking a meeting with him. I had not given him a reason as to why I wanted to meet with him, and neither did he ask me about it.
Mr. Oberoi always called or wrote back. Ask any Oberoi person or a business contact and he will tell you the same thing.
I had written to him in half-jest that I hoped he remembered me. To which he responded, Of course I remember you. And I am very delighted to know that you are now a very successful writer and columnist.
I had been sending him my articles periodically, over the years. It seems that he would make time to read them.
He gave me a time at 5.30 pm on the designated day, and giving a hat tip to his underplayed humorous side, wrote, I hope you can find your way to my office.
A week later, I received another note from him. Fearing cancellation of our meeting, I opened it with much trepidation.
But Mr. Oberoi was writing to tell me that he was going to be travelling to Mumbai for some important meetings and wanted to know if we could now meet at 5.15 PM on a new date.
And then he ended his note writing, I hope the time and date suit you.
Anyone would have flown across the seven seas to meet the legend. I was no different.
I had a splendid meeting with him, albeit a short one.
I had wanted to discuss the matter of writing his Biography. Instead Mr. Oberoi said, yes it would be wonderful if you write about us.
The Company was on top of his mind. He didn’t seem to be keen to get a biography done on him.
I do wish to write a Book on the iconic, the inimitable, the irrepressible Mr. Oberoi. One day I will. But for now, my current Bestselling Memoir, Hotel Adventures with the Stars, is an ode to my Oberoi years and a big tip of my Chapeau to Biki Oberoi - the Mentor, the Idol, the Legend.
Don’t let anyone tell you, you didn’t know Mr. Oberoi or know him well. Our moment of truth with the great man is exactly how he truly was and that is exactly how we knew him.
The hallowed luminary leaves behind a part of himself in all of us!
