It's been said that if bad manners could crash hard drives, there might not be a working desktop computer left in the world. And etiquette mavens aren't the only ones who are lamenting the loss of decorum in everyday business communication.

As more and more high tech roars into our lives, protocol is getting pushed out the door, leaving many of us longing for the old social graces. The lament is: high tech is replacing high touch. Many yearn for the good old days of simpler telecommunications choice. Some grieve the absence of live people on the line, as they attempt to navigate or give up on—voice mail "prison." However, some people don't even remember the days before voice mail! And many don't know how or when to connect (with others) and disconnect (from their tools).

But there is encouragement on the horizon of electronic exchange.

Jacqueline Whitmore, a hospitality industry veteran and president of the Protocol School of Palm Beach, said some people are realizing for the first time that "nuances," (new term for manners) have an important place in the business arena. People are learning that you can't rely only on tech skills anymore to network for the organization and get ahead.

"Managers are awakening to the fact that employees need soft skills in all kinds of social situations, so they are sending them to seminars to learn how to treat others with respect and make them feel comfortable," says Whitmore. "And this includes phone use. If callers get an operator who transfers them six times and is not aware of the hotel's amenities, callers wonder why they should do business with that hotel." Surliness on the phone has no place in today's world if you want to advance your career, she advised.

Though email and faxes are now integrals in the business landscape, phone voice communication remains the most popular choice, because live or recorded, it's often the next best thing to face time. Case in point: the dramatic surge of global cell phone use. Voice transmits messages via word and emotional content, something other electronic options don't do quite as effectively. Depending on the situation, that can be an advantage or disadvantage. So choosing the right medium from today's communications smorgasbord requires knowledge and skill (see sidebar).

The Case for Manners

Good or even acceptable telephone manners have never been taught in our schools, despite the reality that proper handling of a phone call is one of the most important skills one needs in the business world. It is often the first point of contact a customer has with a company, and it can build or destroy good relations and trust—in seconds.

Users should understand that the telephone is a highly personal medium. Some embrace it anytime, anywhere; others regard it as an unwelcome intruder. So it is good to remember that when you invade someone's ear space, it should be done in a considerate manner. Voice power is the great reflector of our inner feelings and we should use that power with care. And, when body language is absent (over the phone), the voice says it all.

Barbara Pachter, an international speaker and author on business communication topics based in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, offers some basic points of etiquette to telephone users.

"When you answer a call, identify yourself first, with your first and last name. When you place the call, identify yourself with your name, organization name, business or department you represent," says Pachter. "Then state the reason for your call. If you don't identify yourself, expect to be asked, and do not take offense. Return phone calls within 24 hours, and apologize if the call takes longer."

As for interoffice phone etiquette, Pachter suggests that one should not hover outside a coworker's office or cubicle waiting for him or her to complete a phone call. Better to leave and try again later. And by all means, do not listen in on coworkers' phone conversations. If you share office space with someone, this may be unavoidable, but try to keep busy when the person is talking and never comment on what you overhear.

Call-Waiting, Speakerphones, Cells, and Other Tools

The plain old telephone of the past now comes with a lot of snazzy upgrades that can be boons or detractors to the communications process. Discretion should rule, say the experts, and for desired results, good technique must apply.

For example, if you must use a mobile phone when you are in a public situation, try to remove yourself to a quiet corner of the room, airport, or restaurant so as not to disturb others. If you must make or take a call, keep it short and as discrete as possible. Also, remember to inform the other party of your location before you continue the conversation.

Speakerphones can be a great convenience when several people need to participate in a conference call, but in a two-person conversation, it often annoys or offends the person whose voice is being broadcast. Use this tool sparingly, and always ask the person on the other end for permission to use it, and identify other people in the room.

Unless you are expecting an urgent call and say so up front, it's impolite to put the person to whom you are speaking on hold while you take the other call. If you must, ask your contact for permission to take the other call. Then explain to the incoming caller that you are on another line and will call him or her back shortly. Then quickly return to the first person.

If you put someone on hold, be sure it's for a good reason, such as pulling the person's file or answering another line. Ask for permission to put him or her on hold and wait for a response rather than assume the answer is always yes. If you need to keep the person on hold for more than a minute, say that you have to take longer and ask if he or she would prefer that you call back. Always thank the person for holding on.

The Sales Game

The importance of good phone skills only increases in the sales process.

From cold prospecting calls to nourishing client relationships, the phone remains an essential tool in today's marketplace. Good manners are a given in this realm, and sophisticated phone techniques make the phone work for successful salespeople.

Pam Lontos, president of Lontos Sales & Motivation in Orlando, trains people in sales techniques, including telephone use. The phone is a salesperson's great organizer and time saver, she says, but many say they find it difficult to get appointments over the lines.

"Common complaints of salespeople are that they can't get appointments by phone," she says. "But with proper techniques, appointments are easy to make and will increase sales dramatically. An appointment made ahead of time improves one's chance of getting in to get the sale," advises Lontos. "That's because the client or prospect has allotted time to listen to you. They also are more receptive to being sold because you have shown respect for their time by phoning ahead to make an appointment at their convenience."

Lontos' advice for phone selling success includes the following tips:

  • Ask for the owner, president, or senior manager. Getting a non-decision maker can only lead to wasted time because you are talking to the wrong person.
  • Start at the top. If your first meeting is with a non-decision maker, it is difficult to go over his or her head. If your first meeting is with the top person, you can always go back to him or her later if you don't get results with the subordinate.
  • Get past the receptionist. Top decision makers use their receptionists to screen their calls. Because these "gatekeepers" usually work set hours and decision makers don't, you can get the boss on the phone directly if you call early (7:30-8:30 a.m.) or late (5:30-7:00 p.m.).
  • Have confidence and energy in your voice. If you sound nervous, gatekeepers know you are a salesperson and will block your call. If you have authority in your voice, it is more likely you will get to the person you want.
  • Get the secretary's first name and use it. The assistant decides which messages get to the boss first, if at all. If you make a friend of him or her, you'll either get through, or your messages will go on top of the pile.
  • To avoid leaving a message that won't get returned, say "I'll call back. Thank you." Get the decision maker on the phone first and create a good rapport before you tell him or her you are in sales.
  • If you must leave a message, leave your name and number only with an interesting message that will arouse curiosity.

Adding to the traditional challenges a salesperson faces in contacting and prospecting for clients now is voice mail. This technological development has given business people another effective way to avoid salespeople. Though experts like Lontos prefer not leaving a message on voice mail unless it's necessary, there are some message-leaving techniques that work (see sidebar).

Lontos said if you constantly get voice mail though you have tried and tried to contact the person, it sometimes helps to send a fax or e-mail message. She suggests the most effective communications sent on those modes should be light and humorous.

"You can send a joke or cartoon, depicting your dilemma in trying to establish contact," says Lontos. "Or, you can send a testimonial letter from a satisfied advertiser with a note expressing your ability to help the prospect's business."

One of Lontos' favorite techniques in combating the silent prospect is a "fax back" message that includes an urgent request for help. Put possible responses with check boxes on your fax, she said, and ask them to fax back their choice: I was terribly busy last week when you called; call me at (time); I can't talk this week, but I'm interested; call me on (date); and I don't like you. I never want to hear from you again. Be sure to make two of the response choices positive and one so negative that the person would feel like a jerk to check that one.

"Many prospects aren't being rude," continued Lontos, "they are just busy. The fax back will get more response because you have offered them an easy way to communicate with you. You can also get a commitment of time to talk with them. Sometimes, you may even get a handwritten apology on the fax when it gets returned."

So whether it's a recorded or live voice you use to communicate in today's marketplace, harnessing phone power means employing practiced techniques to yield desirable results.

Jason Smith
703-610-9024
HSMAI